Chapter 2: Sofia

“We’re really just going to leave?” I question him, glancing around the space. For sure, I’ve got a solid buzz going on from the vodka shots I tossed back with my new friend, Theo. But as the best man, can he really walk out of the rehearsal dinner? 

As a woman supposed to be working, I know I shouldn’t. But since this is my last wedding and the night is going smoothly, it won’t take much (read: any) convincing from Theo to have me toeing off my sandals and following him to the beach. I may have lost myself with Don, but now that that’s over, I know better than to waste moments. 

I officially entered complete remission when I was seventeen years old. With no traces of leukemia lingering in my body, my oncologist assured me I had a favorable future ahead of me. Still, I couldn’t let the uncertainty of not having a tomorrow go. 

My first three years of college, I threw myself into the experience with gusto. I rushed a sorority and took theology and philosophy courses for engaging discussions and the opportunity to view the world through different lenses. I stayed up late with my friends, discussing trivial matters and profound concepts. 

And then, I met Don. He signaled to me that it was time to grow up. That there was no room for rash decisions and emotional reactions in his family. So I tempered my spirit and…grew up. 

But tonight, my spirit, my mom would say impulsiveness, is surging ahead. Giddiness swims in my stomach and breathless anticipation squeezes my chest. Being here tonight and talking to Theo have resurrected remnants of my past. I used to hang onto the fleetingness of spontaneity, of adventure, with both hands. Tonight, I want that again. 

Looking up at Theo, I realize how much I want to reclaim the old me. I don’t want to get a good night’s sleep, work my way through a mental checklist for tomorrow’s wedding, and catch a flight to San Antonio. 

I want to enjoy this moment with this man. 

Logically, I know I should not be making heart eyes at the best man. But when have I ever considered logic when there’s life to be lived?

The corner of Theo’s mouth hitches and he winks. Good God, how can I not make heart eyes at him? 

I’ve watched the sexy surfer ride waves all week long. His hair is longer, and when wet, it’s slicked back behind his ears, ending at his collarbone. His eyes are a bluish-green, vivid and open, inviting and tempting. And his body, his body is a piece of art, all muscles, sinewy strength. 

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t checked him out this week. All week. Not just because of how undeniably attractive he is, but because he rides waves like the water is an extension of him. Like he’s one with the sea, leaning into the rhythm of the waves with perfection. His performance is a hard one to ignore so when I’d spot him walking down his private beach access toward the ocean, I’d stand in the doorway of my villa for an extra moment, appreciating the tourist who seems to love the resort for its unique placement in Maui, and not just for its five-star service. 

Now, that tourist is Theo. And the connection I’ve forged with him over champagne and vodka is even better than watching him surf. It’s so instinctive, that I don’t want to say good night. I smile back; I’m not saying good night.

“Absolutely.” Theo threads his fingers through mine and a jolt of electricity zips through me at the touch. So…I am more than buzzed. “Come.” He tugs me around the side of the bar, behind the lush floral display I’ve spent hours perfecting.  

When we’re adequately hidden from view by the tropical flora, Theo leans forward. So close, I breathe in his cologne. It’s like breathing in the beach, a healthy dose of sea air with a wisp of salt. 

I wrinkle my nose at Theo. “You sure you want to hang with me? I’m on the Servinos’ shit list.” That reminder would make most men run for the hills. 

But not Theo. No, he laughs. “You think I give a shit about them?” 

His dismissal makes me grin. For too long, I fell in line with whatever Don dictated. I thought I was being supportive and understanding; turns out, I was being a damn doormat. The realization angers me, even a month later, because I should know better than to let anyone have a say in my choices. Choices are a luxury and shouldn’t be taken for granted. 

With that thought in mind, I lean into Theo, enjoying the feel of his arm as it wraps around my shoulders. 

Theo walks us closer to the sea and I match his stride, liking the way our shadows look, side by side, on the sand. Soft moonlight and torches leading to the party light up our path, but other than the floating notes of music, we’re alone. 

I glance up at him. Tonight, I’m reclaiming myself. I’m living in this moment with this man, seizing each second, and feeling the uninhibited deliciousness of being alive. My sandals press into the soft sand and little grains stick to my ankles. The weight of Theo’s arm settles more firmly on my shoulders. A light breeze rustles through my hair. 

I’m a lucky woman, a benefactor of second chances and do-overs. If Theo promises me tonight, I’m going to take it, enjoy it, revel in it until sunrise.

This moment belongs to me. To us. And I’m good at grasping moments, minutes, with my entire heart and living in the midst of them. 

“Sof.” Theo’s breath tickles the shell of my ear, more seductive than the Maui breeze. 

“I’ve never met anyone like you,” I tell him truthfully. “I think you’re the most sincere man here.” 

He freezes, his eyebrows pulling low over his eyes. Fascinating eyes. Blue and green and gold, like the Maui sea at sunset. The corner of his mouth curls upward. “Here is filled with prominent members of American society, of French nobility, hell, there’s even English aristocracy. Trust me, I’m nothing in comparison. Just a regular guy.”

“What do you do?” I ask, suddenly desperate for the answer.

Theo hesitates and a shiver dances down my spine, a warning. But then he clears his throat. “I’m…well, right now, I’m a…teacher,” he says finally. 

A teacher. I smile. Was he embarrassed to tell me that? I freely admitted that I was fired/quit my job and my ex-fiancé dumped my ass. “I think that’s a very noble profession.”

He chuckles, the sound pulling at something low in my abdomen. “I like you, Sof.”

I grin. I like that he calls me Sof. I like that he wants to play hooky with me. “I like that you’re a normal guy, Theo.”

He dips his head in acknowledgement and pulls me closer. “Ready to get into some mischief?” 

I roll my lips together and scan the dark ocean, the rolling waves, the moonlight. I toe off my sandals and sigh as the sand rises between my toes. Before I can bend to retrieve my shoes, Theo does. They dangle off his fingers as he resumes our walk, holding my shoes like it’s no big deal. It’s something Don wouldn’t even think of doing and the gesture, as small as it, soothes a hurt that has barely dulled into an ache since Don cast me aside.  

I glance up at Theo, admiring the clean cut of his jawline, the angular planes of his face. His hair is sandy and messy, like he ran his fingers through it. And I like that too. I’m so over the perfectly coiffed, perfectly dressed, perfectly boring man Don turned into, jumping at every demand his parents gave him. How disappointing he turned out to be. No, I don’t want the rules and limitations anymore. I don’t want to fit into a mold I’m not supposed to be cast in. 

I want the zip and zing, the laughter and truth, the carefree passion of a real connection. No bullshit. 

Stopping, I clutch his fingers. 

His gaze drops down to mine, but he doesn’t say anything, waiting for me. 

“Let’s go swimming.”

Slowly, a smile spreads across his lips. “Now?”

I look up at the beautiful stars, hovering above like twinkling tea lights. The moon is full, round and swollen, like a spotlight. Suddenly, it’s as if I’m on stage and the play, my life, my second chance at life, is passing me by. If I don’t start the performance, if I don’t take the lead role, I’m going to miss the whole damn show. 

“Right now.” I drop his hand. 

His eyes hold mine, strong and steady. Real and raw. He unbuttons the long row down the center of his shirt, letting the breeze whip the sides back to reveal washboard abs. My eyes drop on their own accord, and I can’t look away. 

Wow, he’s built. Muscled tendons and ridges I want to drag my finger down. He doesn’t call me out on my blatant perusal. Instead, he pops the button on his slacks and lets them drop to the ground. He kicks them off along with his shoes. 

I grin, adrenaline and excitement coursing through my limbs. 

My eyes snap back to Theo’s as he shrugs out of his shirt. I step forward to help, pushing the soft material off his hot skin, my palms slipping over the rounds of his shoulders. 

I suck in a sharp inhale and he catches my wrist, holding me close, my body nearly melting into his. 

“You sure you want to do this, Sof?” His voice is lower than it was a few minutes ago and a small flicker of relief flares in the pit of my stomach. On some level, I affect him. And thank God, because he more than affects me. He’s turned me silent, my tongue too thick to form syllables. “Sofia, babe, look at me.”

I do. Whatever he reads in my eyes, in my expression, causes his to soften. He releases my wrist and his hand cups my cheek instead. “We can do whatever you want. No bullshit, remember?” 

“I remember,” I whisper. “And I want to swim.”

“Then let’s swim.”

I step away from him, now clad in a pair of tight, black boxer briefs. My dress, boring black but fits like a glove, zips up the side. I drag the zipper down, aware that Theo’s attention is fastened on me. 

My dress drops to the sand and I step out of it, carefully, like stepping out of a puddle. All I have on underneath is a black, lace strapless bra and matching thong. 

Slowly, I raise my eyes to Theo’s once more. 

And the look in his undoes me. Because he’s looking at me in a way Don never did. There’s heat in his irises, desire causing his pupils to expand. There’s pure want in the lines of his face and God, I want it—him—too. 

The moonlight casts off his expression, all shadows and hidden truths, and I hold his stare, memorizing the look he wears. 

“Christ, Sofia. You are fucking gorgeous,” he nearly growls.

I bite my lower lip, dropping my eyes to the sand. No man has ever spoken to me so honestly before, with so much…sincerity. Not with the scars I bear, etched into my skin as a reminder, clawed into my heart as a warning. 

He steps forward, our bare toes touching, and hooks his finger under my chin. His thumb traces the scar on my neck, a leftover from the central line. His eyes narrow and I read the questions in them. Not wanting to ruin the moment, I shift, until the pad of his thumb grazes my collarbone. Theo frowns. “Don’t hide from me, beauty. Don’t hide from yourself.”

His words are an electric current to my heart. Because how does he know? How, in a handful of hours, does this stranger, this man who doesn’t really know the inner workings of my life, of my past, understand me? 

He brushes a kiss over my forehead and my eyes drop as I revel in the feel of his lips on my skin. A coolness replaces the heat of his touch, and he takes my hand again. 

Wordlessly, we walk into the sea. The water rises, warm and gentle, kissing our thighs, hiding our hips, swallowing our shoulders. When we’re out far enough that the music from the party barely reaches our ears, I float on my back. The stars twinkle above, a scattering of glitter confetti. “I miss this.” 

Theo chortles. “Crashing rehearsal dinners? I find that hard to believe.”

I laugh. “Let me rephrase. I haven’t done anything like this, something fun and spontaneous, with a man, in a really long time.” My feet find the ocean floor and I stare at Theo, waiting for his reaction. 

Surprise flashes across his expression. He treads water closer to me, our knees and arms brushing against each other’s. “Don?”

I shake my head. “In the beginning…maybe, there were moments. But the longer we were together, the more I was a pawn in his life. I just didn’t see it. Now, I realize he was modeling me into the wife he wanted me to be. But when his parents pointed out a better way, he dropped me real, real fast.” 

“You feel like he used you?” 

I nod slowly. “And the worst part is, I tried to be what he wanted me to be. I tried so fucking hard. Pathetic, isn’t it?”

“No.” His gaze is severe, intense. “I’ve done that too. Once for a woman, then for my te-, my friends. For years, I tried to be perfect and in the end, I messed it all up.” 

“I don’t believe you. You are…well, look at you.” I gesture at his ridiculous physique, his model-worthy looks. Plus, he’s a teacher. Someone who gives back to his community, who shapes the minds of the next generation. 

Theo gives me a sad smile. “I’m far from perfect, Sofia. Far from being the good guy.” 

I narrow my eyes. “I find that hard to believe.”

“Well, I find it hard to believe that any man would want a woman other than you.” Theo’s hands find my hips. He pulls me toward him, until my chest bumps into his. His mouth is so close to mine that I can practically taste the Campari on his tongue. “Stay for the wedding tomorrow.”

“I’m working the ceremony. Until my flight.”

“No.” He shakes his head. “Stay. For all of it. Be my date.”

I pull back in surprise. “Your date.”

He presses a kiss to the side of my neck. “Yes.”

I squirm, his lips so close to my scar. My shoulder lifts toward my ear and Theo pulls back. “But people will…talk,” I falter, knowing exactly what the Servinos will say. They’ll think I jumped into Theo’s bed to spite Don and yet, that would be so far from the truth. I want to jump into Theo’s bed because being with him tonight is making me feel more like myself again. And I almost forgot what a gift that is, to be myself. 

“Do you care?” he asks, kissing the other side of my neck. 

Goosebumps break out along my skin, and I lift my shoulder to my ear again, this time involuntarily. Theo chuckles and kisses my collarbone instead. “Theo,” I murmur. 

“Sof.”

My fingers wrap over the tops of his shoulders, gripping for leverage. He shifts us toward shallower water, until his feet can touch the sea floor. His hands wrap around me, and my legs encircle his hips. I relax in his arms, feeling more comfortable with him than I have with Don for months. “If we only have tonight…”

“This weekend. Say yes, Sof.”

I pull back to look at him. A thrill rushes through me. “You really want me to be your date?”

“I really do.”

The sincerity in his eyes, the meaning behind his words, invigorates me. In this moment, I feel more alive than I have in years. I don’t want to leave the sea, or Theo’s arms. I want to stay right here, reveling in this extraordinary moment with this man who seems too good to be true. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he whispers, smiling back.

“This feels…real. Right?” I can’t keep the thread of hope from my tone, and I know he hears it because an almost pained expression streaks across his face. 

But then it’s gone and he’s holding me even closer. “It’s real for me too, babe.” He lowers his mouth and I lift my face and when our lips touch, I close my eyes and feel. 

The softness of his lips, the hardness of his jaw, the skillful slip of his tongue as it enters my mouth, pressing against mine. I open up for him slowly, tentatively, but in mere minutes, Theo coaxes out things I’ve never felt before. 

Not truly. 

I feel safe in his arms. Wanted and cherished and treasured. 

His hands and fingers explore my body languidly, like we have all the time in the world. Like he wants to take his time, enjoying this as much as I am. To him, I’m not a task to cross off a list, but a moment to savor. 

A moan comes from the back of my throat and Theo’s breathing hitches. I’m molded against him now, his fingers in my hair, his tongue in my mouth. 

“I want you, Sofia. Christ, do I want you.” 

“Then take me, Theo.” I toss out the words like a challenge and he pulls back, a glint in his eyes. He holds my gaze for a heartbeat before crushing me against him, his mouth hard on mine. 

I revel in every second of it. But instead of losing myself in him, I find myself again.